I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
