Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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