Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
