stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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