the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
