you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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