He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
