I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
