smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
