I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize