shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize