I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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