Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
