i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
