I feel great
I just peed on a car
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
