Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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