My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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