she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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