Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
