I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
