i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize