So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
