I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
