there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
