May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize