I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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