At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
