just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
