Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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