We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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