so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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