I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
