But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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