just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My ATM looks so different sober.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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