The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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