so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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