thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize