I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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