My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
