Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
