All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
