Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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