the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
