the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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