im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize