Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
