So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
