I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
