this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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