that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
