Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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