a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
