No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
