very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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