At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
