I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
