I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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