I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
