i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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