yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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