Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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