Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
