last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
