Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
