HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
