make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
