marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
