yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
